Ode to Darkness

Darkness,

Comforting me when no one else can,

Smiling at me and stretching out his hand.

Darkness

Swirling ‘round me in pitch black waves,

Whispering to me, “Darkness saves.”

Darkness,

He lets me punch him and beat him,

Then holds me and soothes my every limb.

Darkness,

Who knows just what its like

To have everyone drag you away from the light.

Darkness,

He can scan my emotions,

Then let me pour out my tears, drowning us in an ocean.

Darkness,

He doesn’t judge me for what I think,

Rather writes my thoughts on my heart using himself as ink.

Darkness,

He knows my heart and my soul,

And has seen me when I’m out of control.

Darkness,

Filling up my lungs

Taking control of my heart and tongue,

Oh Darkness

Darkness what have you done?

This war on myself that we fought, you won.

//Ode to Darkness{k.b.}//

Silhouette

I feel like a silhouette 
Just a black shape
No defined features
At least not that others can see. 
The freckles on my nose
The light in my eyes
The crookedness of my smile 
All invisible. 
The thinks that make up me
The stray hairs
The chipped nail polish
The poor posture
All invisible. 
And those are just the outward things
What about everything inside of me
The thoughts
The feelings
The ideas
All invisible 
The words
The cries
The very essence of my being
All invisible. 
I'm just a silhouette 
Plain and simple. 
I'm just a silhouette 
And I feel invisible. {k.b}

Fight Back

One person.  

That's all I need. 

Just someone,

To be there for me. 

I don't need a group of friends,

Who see me as their queen,

Lord knows girls like that

Are my enemies. 

But someone would be nice,

One I could talk to,

I could spill my secrets out,

Like I've been meaning to do. 

Because soon I'm going to burst,

This bottle is fragile you know. 

Soon Ill be shattered,

Just pieces across the floor. 

Far far away,

one will stumble upon me,

And find nothing left

But my broken remains. 

they'll pick up a shard

And see nothing but black, 

The result of me not being strong enough,

To fight the demons back. 

A murderer that is

5 years old and I saw the brokenness of the world.
The crime
The horror 
The monstrosity. 
I saw the theives
And the rebels
And the murderers. 
I told my self I would never become one. 
A murderer that is. 
Floating through the years,
The evil was still there, but I paid no heed.
I never dreamed I would become one of them.
A murdurer that is. 
But I've killed someone. 
A girl
Happy
Carefree
Living the heck out of her life. 
She's gone. 
I killed her. 
Now there's only this shell of a human. 
Empty.
Broken. 
I don't want to live anymore. 
My strength is nearly gone. 
Used up trying to find this girl. 
But she's been destroyed. 
Torn to shreds. 
And I don't think she can be put back together again. 

The battle between us

First there's her.
Her with a halo above her hair
and golden locks ever so fair.
Her with a smile as sweet as an angle,
and shimmering eyes, a beautiful hazel.

Her with a voice soft and sweet,
she seems to charm everyone she meets.
Her whom everyone chooses as favorite,
and they look at her like every breath she breaths is sacred.

Then there's me.
Me with the razor sharp horns,
which the top of my head adorn.
Me with a devilish smile playing on my lips,
and fire dancing on my fingertips.

Me with an evil glint in my eyes,
a person everyone seems to despise.
Me who reflects no angelic grace,
but instead has the look of the devil etched upon my face.

But did you ever stop to think
that maybe it's all fake?
Maybe the angelic look 
is only on her face.

And perhaps I'm not so bad,
your judgment is to rash.
Because her heart is as hellish as my face,
and my soul is seeping with grace. 
{k.b}

She'll be gone

{Not my work}

“tell her you love her. i know your palms are sweaty and last night you cried for a few hours and your father’s fingers left a hole in your chest that has been filled with cement and you are never sure about anything and you’re kind of courting death
but she makes the sun rise for you, she makes the grass grow. she makes you remember what it was like to actually have a home. you could be filled up on her words alone.
tell her you love her. tell her that you feel it like an ever-expanding forest in your chest, like your blood has turned into fireworks, like you’ve been running a marathon and she’s your chance for a rest. i know you’re scared you’re not good enough, i know you think everyone leaves. but when she walks in, your eyes follow her like she’s the only one in the room. so tell her. tell her soon.
or else one day you might wake up and she’ll be gone from you.”
—inkskinned // r.i.d

The Circle of Saying Goodbye

“It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later,” they say.

But three whole years is a long way away.

I know they don’t get it, the connections between us.

We aren’t just acquaintances, we’re friends. You’re the best that I’ve got.

So they can tell me “Don’t shed a tear,”

And they can tell me, “Don’t cry my dear.”

They can tell me it will be all right as we stand there on your last night.

But they can’t expect me to brush it off,

To smile, give a hug, and wave you off.

Oh sure I’ll smile; at least I’ll try.

After all that’s how I want you to remember me as I say goodbye.

But on the car ride home I’ll sob and cry,

Then shut myself away from the light.

And for a few days I won’t speak to a soul,

Then I’ll come out and act like everything’s normal.

But it’s not. It never will be.

You will never be erased from my memory.

And as soon as I think it will be okay,

New people come, and it all starts again.

Rambling...

There’s the moon, are you looking at it to?

No you can’t, it’s daytime where you are.

The ocean separates us, like an indestructible wall.

In theory it would be easy to see each other.

But it’s not.

It takes time.

Planning.

Money.

Things we just don’t have.

Not like that.

And the times you do come are special, don’t get me wrong.

But sometimes I just want you to be right across the street.

We could go grab a bite to eat.

You could tell me your troubles and I’ll tell you mine,

We wouldn’t have to worry about a disconnecting line.

Time would be the same,

Not seven hours in between.

That would be nice.

But that cant happen.

It’s just not my life.

Don’t take it the wrong way,

I love my life.

Really, I do.

I have some great opportunities.

But I miss the “normal things’’

You know like a high school.

Whatever it is teenagers do.

I don’t really know what they do.

I think it would be fun though.

All that rambling was useless I suppose.

But I miss you.

Colors

Darkness is all I can see,

My other senses are keen as can be,

But all I see is black.

People try to explain the colors,

Friends, family and others,

But all I see is black.

Red, they say is like an apple,

And the color of your cheeks in the cold, cold winter,

But all I see is black.

They say it is the streak of a cardinal flying in the woods,

And the color of the ribbon tying a package of baked goods,

But all I see is black.

Yellow, they say is the color of the sun,

That when you see it you think of summer and fun,

But all I see is black.

They say it is the color of a tulip glowing in a meadow,

And of Rapunzel’s hair flowing out the window,

But all I see is black.

Green, they say is the color of the grass,

Of the leaves of trees and the stems of plants,

But all I see is black.

They say it is the color of the weeds in the sea,

And the color of the money that pays for everything,

But all I see is black.

Blue, they say is the color of the sky,

The color you see under the clouds floating by,

But all I see is black.

They say it is the color of the ocean waves,

And the color of the raindrops on the windowpane,

But all I see is black.

Purple, they say is the color of a butterfly,

It is a cold color, its not warm, but shy,

But all I see is black.

They say it is the color of an ice-cold grape Popsicle,

And the color of the stain that to get out, is impossible,

But all I see is black.

Black is the one that I can see,

The color of monsters and demons and everything scary,

And all I see is black.

It’s the color of depression and sadness,

There is no happiness or gladness

And all I see is black.